Focus on the now

I've been slowly falling behind in school and such, due to me slacking off! Gha! Don't you just hate when that happens. I think we can all agree though, that when your feeling extreamly stressed out and depressed, doing anything (esp. homework) is a huge challenge.
Well...I started to get caught up in this Health class I'm taking - and boy was I glad I did.
Guess what we're learning about.....go ahead.....guess....now......REALLY GUESS!!....
:D Stress relievers and how to get over depression and such. HA! How about that ^-^

Every time I get REALLY stressed out, my neck hurts like hell. I try to put heat on it, ice, everything. Nothing helps at all. So...after reading the lessons in Health and adding what I learned into my life, my neck pain is pretty much totally gone! Woooo!
I've gone 4 days now, with zero trace of stress/depression/anything. It's really...really, nice. There was just so much drama going on in my life for a while, that it was pretty much driving me insane.
It's all okay now though, for now anyway, heee. I feel accepted in this small group of friends (online, sadly - but it's still all good!) which is really nice for me. One of my bestest friends that I haven't talked to in a long while is around again ^-^ yey!
And...on top of it all, it's gotten WARMER!!! <3 Hello Spring ^D^ I misssseeedd you!

I've been bugging out lately, trying to find the perfect wing design for a tattoo I think I want on my hand. But I cannot for the life of me find one! I'm to the point where I really wish I could DRAW or I had a artsy friend that could draw one up for me! Gha.

This Summer...oooh this Summer. X)
So far...I think I'll be getting my surgery done (jaw) in a month or two from now...I'm not quite sure. Around June, a friend from England may be coming over for a visit...also in June ;.; I turn 18 geeeze! Thennnn, I really hope to go on a week long biking trip with the Mr as I did last year. Good times.
:)

To the Forgotten.

Things have been getting better than they were before.

Baby steps - Just take one day at a time.



I seem to be having so much trouble with guys lately. I must be a magnet for disrespectful guys I tell ya.

I am so glad I have good friends to help me get out of these crazy situation with these guys. If I didn't have them, I'd be in trouble no doubt.

I've got to teach myself to take a better stand and be more forceful, or something. If I don't, who knows how long I'll last in this crazy world.

I get into things like this, and people wonder why the hell I'm not open and don't trust easy. I've been through a lot - I'm sure it's not as bad as some people have had, but it's still pretty bad. Not everyone knows what has happened, and they don't need to.

I don't mind telling my life story anymore, but what does it matter, eh.

I wonder if I will ever be someones number one 'person' ever. I've always been at the bottom of every ones list...being left behind...standing in a group and it's like I'm invisible...I don't like it, and it really hurts, ya know, but I'm too silly to say or do anything because I don't want to be excluded from that group of people. Because even if I'm being ignored or something, at least I belong somewhere...



A friend of mine introduced me to http://www.last.fm/ last week.

Music <3

It's the only thing keeping me going right now. In the area I live in, the radio doesn't come in well, so this is nice - I can type in a Artist/Band for the radio on there and it plays songs that relate to the Artist/Band that I typed in.

Then, the songs save to your profile on last.fm.

Mine: www.last.fm/user/goddessnyx

Plus, no commercials like regular radio. Isn't that nice.



Snows melting. Spring birds are coming home. Warmer weather.

Hello Spring. I missed you.

Spent a good deal of time outside in the 50*F/8*C(I think) weather, man that was nice. I'm really excited for mid-spring now. I miss sitting outside and just listening to all the sounds and watching everything.

I swear I could sit outside for hours, just sitting there, and be perfectly happy about it.

It's nice living out in the country.

Summer should be even nicer...in a way.

I know that it's going to be a summer of pain, for me, probably. Due to a surgery I'm getting...but in the end, it will be okay.

It's not going to be such a great 18th birthday though I don't reckon...too bad. :/

Not that I would do much of anything anyway...no one to do anything with, no where to go...how depressing.



Not that it matters to you, right?

Guess I just sound like a Emo; complaining about everything. Sigh.