Before I got confirmed (as in, the whole Catholic...or Christian religion thing [idk, one of those]) I was having all sorts of dreams about being dragged to Hell and the devil being around me and being tormented by Demons.
Afterwards though, the dreams stopped. I never wanted to get confirmed but whatever. Anyway, they started again, last night. Demons forcing kittens to drown themselves in toilet water. I don't understand but I sawr a kitten drown itself, then start walking around again. Scariest thing I've seen in a while.
Being tormented by Demons is scary. Even if it's just in your dreams. If you don't believe in Demons, or don't think that these are Demons doing this to me, well fuck off then. This is what I believe 'n shit. It's scary as hell and sigh.
I'm Agnostic. There might be a God or Goddess. Then again, maybe there isn't. Who knows.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Move On...
Lets see..
As of June 6th, I've no boyfriend anymore. It was really hard for a while, and it still is. I'm so attached to him yet and it hurts like crazy knowing things probably wont be the same between us again. :( And I'm trying to push myself to move on...it's been really hard and I'm still not over him. Thankfully though, we're still the best of friends and I will forever love him as a really really good friend. :) As will I be there for him whenever he needs me for whatever reason. <3
My jaw is doing OK. I have my days where I can hardly stand the pins and needles feeling in my chin that's caused by the nerves trying to work again. But, I get through it. Eating has become a bit easier, which is kinda nice.
What else is there to say....I feel like my energy is being drained lately, and I don't really DO anything....and I feel like shit, like I'm emotionaly unstable and am going to crack at anytime. Ergh.
My birthday is on Saturday (the 26th) and I don't know what I'll be doing. I just happened to remember just yesterday. I don't even know what I want. Well...I know what I WANT but I don't know what I want that I can HAVE. :/ I don't see myself having a very nice birthday this year. I don't know what I'll even be doing. Probably nothing, how fun. Hell, I can't even really have cake :( I mean, I could but it's difficult to eat at any rate, so it's something I'd have to eat in private as to not make a total fool of myself.
Sigh....Right now, I just want to be left alone and relax all day, somewhere by myself. Me and a good book. Ahh, yes.
I wish all the guys that are hitting on me or being over nice to get me to like them, would lay the fuck off. I'm NOT interested in anyone who's flirting like crazy with every girl he lays his eyes on and then goes for me. Nor am I interested in someone who's going to be all super nice and shit. I mean, I like niceness, but - whatever. I'm not interested in anyone right now; I still can't get over someone and I probably wont for a while. Just leave me alone :/ don't touch me, don't flirt with me, don't nothing. Go away and mess with someone else.
As of June 6th, I've no boyfriend anymore. It was really hard for a while, and it still is. I'm so attached to him yet and it hurts like crazy knowing things probably wont be the same between us again. :( And I'm trying to push myself to move on...it's been really hard and I'm still not over him. Thankfully though, we're still the best of friends and I will forever love him as a really really good friend. :) As will I be there for him whenever he needs me for whatever reason. <3
My jaw is doing OK. I have my days where I can hardly stand the pins and needles feeling in my chin that's caused by the nerves trying to work again. But, I get through it. Eating has become a bit easier, which is kinda nice.
What else is there to say....I feel like my energy is being drained lately, and I don't really DO anything....and I feel like shit, like I'm emotionaly unstable and am going to crack at anytime. Ergh.
My birthday is on Saturday (the 26th) and I don't know what I'll be doing. I just happened to remember just yesterday. I don't even know what I want. Well...I know what I WANT but I don't know what I want that I can HAVE. :/ I don't see myself having a very nice birthday this year. I don't know what I'll even be doing. Probably nothing, how fun. Hell, I can't even really have cake :( I mean, I could but it's difficult to eat at any rate, so it's something I'd have to eat in private as to not make a total fool of myself.
Sigh....Right now, I just want to be left alone and relax all day, somewhere by myself. Me and a good book. Ahh, yes.
I wish all the guys that are hitting on me or being over nice to get me to like them, would lay the fuck off. I'm NOT interested in anyone who's flirting like crazy with every girl he lays his eyes on and then goes for me. Nor am I interested in someone who's going to be all super nice and shit. I mean, I like niceness, but - whatever. I'm not interested in anyone right now; I still can't get over someone and I probably wont for a while. Just leave me alone :/ don't touch me, don't flirt with me, don't nothing. Go away and mess with someone else.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Suffering
I'm still happy. I mean, I have my moments where I'm not so happy at all and such, but all in all, I'm still pretty happy. I don't see my relationship getting too far this summer. Summer = Guys + Girls = Flirting = Dating. Love is in the air....mmm'.
I love my boyfriend, I really do. But, we discussed what either of us would do if someone asked us out in real life/in person. Of course I'd say I was already taken :/ I want a relationship with someone who lives near me, yeah. But I wouldn't go ahead and dump him just because someone who lives near me asked me out. That's not fair. He said he would though, probably.
I'm not surprised...but I...mer.
Surgery went okay. My face hurts every now and then. Esp. in the morning. Hanging in there though. Worst part is I'm not allowed to eat anything other than liquid foods for 6 weeks and summer is a time where everyone has they're cook outs/bbq's and stuff. And I get....yogurt, or something. It's torture. I am craving pizza, asparagas rosotto, tacos, spaghetti, rice c.c arghhh *tummy growls* D:
I love my boyfriend, I really do. But, we discussed what either of us would do if someone asked us out in real life/in person. Of course I'd say I was already taken :/ I want a relationship with someone who lives near me, yeah. But I wouldn't go ahead and dump him just because someone who lives near me asked me out. That's not fair. He said he would though, probably.
I'm not surprised...but I...mer.
Surgery went okay. My face hurts every now and then. Esp. in the morning. Hanging in there though. Worst part is I'm not allowed to eat anything other than liquid foods for 6 weeks and summer is a time where everyone has they're cook outs/bbq's and stuff. And I get....yogurt, or something. It's torture. I am craving pizza, asparagas rosotto, tacos, spaghetti, rice c.c arghhh *tummy growls* D:
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