Roots of Love?

I just finished up watching the Manga series Vampire Knight.
It's my absalute favorite Manga ever!
Well, I watched all episodes of season 1 and 2, and now, im depressed.
Isn't it funny ... how you can love something sooo much, and hate it at the same time?
Things like Vampire Knight, have me soo caught up in it, that I never want to stop reading (or in this case, watching) to see what happens next. Ive thought today, that perhaps (and this will sound silly) im jelious of characters who do not and cannot excist...Funny,eh?
Well - Love, I guess, is a powerful thing. Just wish that I could have something close to that of what Yuuki (in Vampire Knight) has... ^-^; Heh...Heh...

DOOM!

Maybe someday I will have something like that. Time will tell...



It use to make me angery, seeing couples together. Watching them embrace one another, laughing together, and all that. Anger ... hmm, Jelious.
I still feel that way sometimes, tho im trying to teach myself not to feel that way towards them. Tho im in a relationship at the time, it's difficult. Complicated and just plain difficult.
I cannot do any of the above with him ^-^ simply because he's not close enough. Never will be.
I don't know how much longer I can take this pain - the distance is too much and people around me suffer because im so depressed a good part of the time.
I need to change.
If not for me, for everyone else.

<3