Torn

For the past 2 weeks or so, there has been nothing but drama.

What kind of drama? Put it this way - it involves me and 2 guys. Yep.

Today, I just thought of how well this situation is alike for Bella, in Twilight. I know it's silly to compair something to something that's not really (and Twilight amongst other things!) but it just suddenly occured to me that it did.

Both Edward and Jacob love her, and she loves them too - except her love for Jacob was more of the love for a brother or something I think she said in the book. I guess that's kinda how I feel right now...I think. So many things going through my head right now.

I don't want either of them mad at me for what I choose to do, or hate me even.

Why is it so wrong for me to talk to them both? Can't either of them accept it. That this is who I am and I talk to anyone who's my friend?

I'm -in love- with one of'm, and my heart stays true to that. But am I not allowed to talk to the other friend? It just makes me sad...I'm trying to trust people here, so that things can work out. Then I'm trying to be myself, and stay commited to one person, so that they can trust me back.

I just hate when people are mad at me for being myself. I can't help it. If my friend wants to talk to me and the other friend gets mad, then wheres the trust here? :(

I just want to be happy. And them to be happy to.

If that means not talking to either of them again because that's what they choose, then I hope they're happy. Even if it'll kill me.