Steampunk

I'm still here, yea.

No - I am not feeling any better. Still quite depressed but not so bad today ... don't know why though. Perhaps it's because I didn't have any school work (Saturdays are awesome) and I stayed home instead of going to my cousins house for 7 hours or so, to do nothing but sit and think...thinking is bad for me, really.

I have killer neck pain though. I do know it's from being infront of my computer for long periods of time. But because I have laptops, I'm looking down slightly, which stresses my neck. I also think maybe it has to do with daily stress in my life. Don't know for sure.

I know a lot of people probably have it a lot harder than I do (life wise and school wise) but, everyone is different. Some people can deal with a lot of stuff, and not be the least bit stressed out about it. Others (such as myself) get stressed quite easily.

I haven't been sleeping well lately either, which puts a strain on me during the day.

Had a strange dream the other night too, which bothers me. I wont talk about it though, because I know people will find it a silly dream to worry over, but it makes me kinda sad.

Anyway...
Steampunk Keys (necklaces)....WOW. I love these necklaces - they are so bloody awesome.

I think, that once I get myself a job and start getting things done, I'll get one of these off the person that is making them. They are absolutelyamazing.

This person, on DeviantArt, called Drayok makes them. The one above is called "Moon Key" and then the one bellow is called "Time-Travel Key".

If I were to get one, it'd be one of these two I reckon.

They are really neat.
JUST thought I'd mention them...I have a new obsession with wings lately...maybe that's why I like them so much. Eh.

I've made a goal for myself, that I HOPE to Goddess that I can keep.

By this summer, I really want to get myself into ship-shape and slimmed down...WAY down.

I know people say I look fine, that I don't need to change myself just because I think other people wont accept me. It's not just that ... I HATE my body. I feel trapped in it and that's another reason why I think I'm down a lot ... I down myself for how I look.

I really just want to do this by this summer though, before the guy I like comes or I go by him ... I don't know. But he's been talking about coming to see me soon and it scares me because - if I don't like the way I look (not trying to make people say I look good or anything, I am serious...) what if he thinks the same way.

*#%)(@73-598273-985723-9867230958a0(*()#(&)$~!!!!

Maybe I'll set the goal for this spring....I need to get to work then.

But yea...I sometimes wonder if things will work out long enough to last till spring or summer, even. With him and I, I mean.

I understand he works during the day, and then sleeps and then personal things and more sleep. But, I haven't heard from him in nearly a week. I've finally decided I'm going to stop trying to talk to him and just wait for him to talk to me.

*mumbles*

I.Have.Issues.With.My.Life.